There’s quite a lot of writing going on here in Sweden at the moment about three young men who were just acquitted for raping a young woman. They held her down, pried her legs open and used a wine bottle to penetrate her. The court is letting them off because the woman never specifically said no, and claim that her trying to hold her legs clamped together could be because of “shyness or initial doubt”. Really, court?
Sure, there probably are people out there who are into that kind of thing. But I’d expect it to be something agreed on between all parties beforehand, and it most likely would never lead to the woman accusing the men of rape. The men in this case stopped when they saw that the woman was bleeding. But even then the court dismissed it with the claim that the men hadn’t intended to hurt her. It just so happened that the wine bottle they used still had some of the tinfoil left on the neck, and that’s what caused her injuries.
Basically, what this tells us is that unless we specifically utter the words “no” or “stop”, men can do whatever they want. You were too scared to do anything? Probably wasn’t rape. I wonder what their ruling on someone being gagged so they couldn’t say anything would be. They were into it cause they didn’t say no? She’s unconscious? Well, she didn’t say no!
It just makes me tired. Let’s teach our kids that if they’re not entirely sure if a girl wants it… ask. Don’t assume that she does.