I suspect everyone has different views on assisted pregnancy and what should be allowed and what shouldn’t. In Sweden it’s currently legal to provide insemination to people who are married or in a registered partnership, but not to singles. A proposition has been made to change the law to allow for singles to be inseminated as well.
I was reading a debate on a Swedish newssite about it, and there was a lot of hatred against the suggestion. First of all, I feel that I should clarify that this still happens – single, Swedish women currently get inseminated if they wish to have a baby without being in a relationship, they just have to go elsewhere to do it. I hear some go to Poland, but I think the most common place is Denmark, because there’s a clinic in Copenhagen dedicated to only this.
The only difference the change in the law would bring would be that they no longer had to travel abroad. Commenters on the article made it sound like we would suddenly have a stampede of women running to get inseminated, which I can only think of as utter bullshit. The women who really want a baby already do it (just in Denmark), we’re not suddenly going to have thousands more. If they want one badly enough to go through all of it alone – then whether it’s in Sweden or Denmark really makes no difference.
I wanted to discuss some of the comments made by people on the article. Because they’re logic – to me – sounds incredibly faulty.
But, these women shouldn’t have kids anyway because they’re obviously not able to form an emotional connection with another human being. Else why would they be single???
I can’t help but feel that this is a very short sighted comment. Most people (women and men) want to find someone who feels right. They don’t want to settle for just anyone. I can fully understand if someone suddenly is 40 years old, haven’t found their significant other and still really wants a baby. Some people would settle for a partner that’s not quite what they want, and others might choose to have that baby on their own.
OMG don’t these women want to have sex or what??
Yes, I actually saw several comments like this. Really, people? Again, I’m sure it’s not about the physical bit, these women aren’t repulsed by men. They just haven’t found someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Not everyone is so lucky.
Can’t they just go pick a man up in a bar and not use protection?
Half the time this comment was tied into the “don’t they like sex”, but even so it’s so stupid I don’t know where to start. Seriously? On what level is it more okay to trick some unsuspecting, drunk man into getting you pregnant than to get inseminated? What kind of life is that for a kid, a dad who never wanted them in the first place?
But, what about single men? The law doesn’t speficy gender, but it’s obviously only going to work for women. Men should get surrogates!
First of all, surrogates is a completely different debate (and something the government is actually looking into) since it uses someone else’s body for 9 months rather than your own. There are a lot of other issues with surrogates, but it’s not what I’m writing about today. In short, you can’t have an argument that basically is; “if we can’t have babies then you can’t have babies!”
A family has to have a mom and a dad!
Not true. There have actually been some research that shows that what is important to a child is that they grow up in a loving and safe environment. Not so much if you have one, two or five parents. Also, the comment of course quickly dismisses gay couples as well.
I don’t know if I would ever do it myself, but I do think this is a good change to the law. Especially considering that these women do it anyway. It seems unreasonable to make them travel to another country when we know that they do. We should just allow it here, in Sweden.
I don’t think anyone (including the women who do this) is trying to shut men out of the family constellation. Sometimes you’re just unlucky and haven’t found “the one”, and one day you may be old enough that you have to choose. Have a baby now alone or never have one.
Regarding the comments about not forming emotional ties, it’s just so wrong. I can fully understand not finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It’s not an easy task. Sometimes there are other limitations. For example, I live in a small village of about 5500 people. Now imagine how many of those are men, how many of those are my age and how many are single? I’d say not many. Then you need to actually have something in common/be compatible somehow. No wonder I’m single!