I was reading a forum post about a guy trying to date a shy girl, and he was asking opinions on how to proceed. Which is really besides the point, but the background to my thoughts I guess. Anyway, in the forum thread there were a lot of people discussing why this girl was shy. Had she had a bad childhood.. bad experiences with x, y or z.. and so on.
Someone doesn’t have to have had any particular reasons to be shy. Sometimes you’re just shy by nature. It’s not necessarily something that you’ve become. Or, maybe you’re an introvert, which is often seen as shy by others because you’re not as talkative and outgoing as others.
I know that I used to think I’m shy, but in truth I think I’m really just an introvert. If someone talks to me, I have no problems speaking to them. It’s not difficult for me to make myself understood or speak when I have to. I just don’t seek out situations where I have to, and might at times even avoid them. Big crowds isn’t really my thing, and bigger gatherings tire me greatly. It’s fun for a little while, but I can’t do it for too long.
The boyfriend is quite the opposite. Where I would happily be alone for days at a time, I think a similar situation would drive him insane. Every year around New Year’s he goes away for a few days with his friends. And in the future I will go with him. I’m sure it will be a lot of fun, but at the same time it kind of terrifies me – because I’ll have to be around people and be social for a very long time, without breaks. At least I have some more time to prepare, since we’ve agreed to start doing every other year with each other’s family. And this year it’s his turn to visit me for Christmas and New Year’s.
I wonder if I appear shy to other people. Sometimes I wonder that people think I’m rude because I don’t always like to chitchat. Small talk is not something I’m very good at.
Other times I can talk too much though. I remember back in one of my old jobs, I was up for a promotion and one of the people in the team was uncertain, because she thought I might be too quiet and subdued to fit in. She eventually told me this herself, because she had to admit that I wasn’t at all. Once I felt comfortable I was talking her ears off!
In conclusion, I don’t think something has to “have happened” to someone to make them shy. Sure, maybe that’s the case for some people. But I’d think it’s far more common to just be shy by nature, or possibly just an introvert.
Would you consider yourself shy? Or are you an introvert? Or perhaps even an extrovert?!