Meltdown

That is, I think my brain is in meltdown. I’m so tired lately it’s not even funny. Now, obviously I’m tired all the time what with my CFS and all, but lately it’s been so over-the-top tired that I’m worried I’m regressing to how it was a few years ago.

There are so many things I need to do (clean the house for example.. laundry.. you get it), but I just don’t have the energy to do so. Getting out of bed at the moment feels like climbling a mountain. My limbs feel like their filled with lead, and I have to push so hard just to roll out of the bed and into my clothes. Then I spend the rest of the day walking around, feeling as if I’m pushing myself through jell-o.

The tiredness effects my brain too of course, and coherent thinking starts getting difficult. (So if this post makes less sense than I think, now you know why!)

Yesterday I got a letter from the benefits place that pays my disability allowance, that I’ve now used up my 80% disability and will be bumped down to 75%. I’m barely able to pay my bills off the 80% so going down to 75% will be a joy… The annoying thing is that I don’t automatically get bumped to 75%, but they will cancel the disability, and I will have to apply for the 75% one. I really hope that doesn’t mean there will be a gap, since I have no savings and surviving a month (or more) with no money is not something I can do.

In more positive news; my brother took his driver’s license yesterday! This means that I no longer have to do all the driving! Hooray!


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