Just Breathe

Today was my first “official” day of unemployment, since really the weekend doesn’t count. Today I should have been working, but I’m not. I spent the whole day at home, and wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself.

The weekend I pretty much wasted feeling sorry for myself, I figured I was allowed a couple of days of self-pity. Now I need to get a grip and get things done though. I made a new little comic for my WoW website (to be published on Wednesday), which took 2-3 hours, so that was something.

Thursday I have a meeting with the job agency and will probably get some more information about what happens now. So many things are still up in the air, and I have no idea what the plan is. Hopefully after the meeting I will know a lot more. Monday I’m meeting with my therapist who deals with the medical bit as well, which will also help since there were some discussions about officially putting me on disability for a certain percentage. These are all things that are floating around, but nothing definitive which means I can’t make plans. I want to make plans.

I don’t like drifting along and not knowing where I’m going. I like knowing what things are, what to expect and then figuring out how to deal with it. After all this time I’m sick of things popping up like jack-in-a-boxes and punching me in the face the moment I feel like I finally found my footing. Knocks me right back down again, and I’m sick of it.

I want answers. Decisions. Knowledge on what happens next and what we’re doing.

Other plans this week include cleaning the apartment and hosting a dinner Thursday evening with my mom, aunt and grandma. Brother’s girlfriend and the baby might show up as well, but she doesn’t know yet. I’m too tired to do anything complicated, so I think we’ll be having enchiladas and then maybe watching a movie. It’ll be nice doing something though, and I look forward to the company.

I’ve been looking through old stories and things, and I want somewhere good to store them in case my computer blows up or something. You may see some of them pop up on this site, since it’s been around for years and internet is, after all, a decent place to store things since it will still be there if your computer blows up. You can just ignore them though. They’ll be under the category “creations”, which is currently woefully tiny.


Just Breathe — 2 Comments

  1. Keep breathing, Em. It will all come right, I know it will. Speaking as one who went from being busy, busy, busy to a lady (ahem) of leisure nearly a year ago (by choice admittedly!) the one thing I found that helps is to create for yourself a sense of routine and purpose, otherwise the days can easily all merge together. By setting goals, however daft that sounds, for each day, I got the feeling that I’d achieved something, even if I hadn’t been to work.

    And I’m sending you positive vibes for your meeting with the job agency **hugs*

    • Sitting outside their office now waiting. I hope there will be good news.

      Thanks for your support, I know I‘m kind of over-reacting, I‘ve just had a lot of bad experiences the last few years with these things!

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