I want…

I want to write and keep updating, and I think of things that I want to write about, but then it just never happens. Some things I guess I feel I can’t write about, others I just don’t know how.

Feeling rather down and defeated at the moment somehow. More tired than usual (if that’s possible). I’m back to struggling to get out of bed, no matter how much (or little) I sleep. I try different amounts of sleep to see if I can find the “right” amount, but there doesn’t seem to be one.

I wanted to do NaNo this year, even signed up for it. But in the end the energy and inspiration isn’t there. I realised I don’t have a story with enough of a plot yet to be written. Except for the one I started on before I hit that proverbial wall a few years back, and you’re not supposed to write on something you already started (partly because you’ll care too much about it to just keep writing “bad”). Nothing else I have has enough for me to be able to write it.

Maybe next year.

I’m considering my own little challenge of writing something every day (on the blog) for one month instead. Even if just a few sentences. I’ll probably fail, I’ve tried this before and just ended up with nothing to write. But I might try again, just have to decide if it should start on the first of a month (like 1 Dec – 31 Dec) or just start any random day and continue for a month.

In other (more positive) news, He is probably coming to visit in 4-5 weeks if things to as planned. I really look forward to it, because I miss him. We still talk on Skype more or less every evening, but it’s obviously not the same as having someone physically present.

Now I had better get some house cleaning done, my little brother is even here to give me a hand.


I want… — 2 Comments

  1. Heh, as you know, I’m not managing NaNo either. That said, I’m going to try and carry on writing, even if I don’t hit the arbitrary deadline with the right amount of words.

    Em, I recall that you’ve stopped work. What you might be feeling, is that de-stabilisation of not *having* to be anywhere at a given time, in a routine. I sympathise *huggles* and it will get easier. That’s why making yourself do something every day, if that’s 100 words on the blog that’s great, is a GOOD thing. It gives you a gentle goal to meet every day. Even if you don’t publish them, even if you write them on a whole ‘nother private blog, you’ll have done it.

    And yaaaaaaaay for visits! That’s wonderful, that you’re seeing each other again so soon. I’m excited for you all over again!

    • I’m working on a little bit of a schedule to keep myself to, but it’ll be another week before I can properly do it – because I’m taking care of my aunt’s dogs while she’s on vacation (which kind of interrupts my day). I’m always tired, but yeah, I imagine the “not working” isn’t helping.

      I’m glad that you’re continuing to write. In the end NaNo is mostly about getting started I guess, so if you don’t hit 50k at least you’ve gotten started even if it only ends up 10 or 20k. What are you writing? If I may ask?

      Keeping my fingers crossed for the visit. Definitely hope nothing happens to stop it!

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