A few years ago (3 I think) I briefly dated this guy. He’s a good guy and we’ve kept in contact through Facebook these years, but we just never “clicked”. Or at least I didn’t “click”. I called it off back then because he seemed a lot more interested than I ever was, and it didn’t seem fair to continue dating when I knew we weren’t on the same page.
Then some time ago he sent me a message where he basically asked me if I want to be friends with benefits. Wait.. what?
I don’t know if it’s me, but it’s not something I’d put out there like that. I’m not sure whether to be shocked or impressed by his bravery. In some way I expect it’s a brave thing to ask someone (he’s not exactly a “player”), but at the same time I wasn’t quite sure how to respond.
While I guess you could say I already have a friend with benefits, it’s not a practice I generally believe in. (I just kind of fell into the current one..) I think it’s incredibly difficult to keep feelings and physical closeness apart, personally. Others may not have this problem, but I know I do (and I expect the guy who asked me would as well). So I tried to respectfully decline his offer as nicely as I could (since he’s a nice guy and I didn’t want to hurt him).
A friend of mine had a different view on the whole friends with benefits thing, which interested me. In her eyes it was basically a rude thing to ask because to her it’s like someone saying you’re not good enough to be in a relationship with, but good enough to bang. Which I guess is a fair point to a certain extent.
I’m not sure what I believe myself. What do you guys think about friends with benefits? Good? Bad? Undecided?