One Year

I can’t believe that today it’s been a whole year since I arrived in England in my new flat, to finally live with the boyfriend after surviving years of a long distance relationship.

On the whole, I think that we’ve managed quite well. I was definitely a bit worried when first moving, since it’s always different meeting someone for limited amounts of time, compared to actually living together. It probably helps that we’re both fairly laid back kind of people, so we’ve not really had any big issues to deal with.

My biggest issue has probably been missing my family, especially the little ones. Sometimes feeling lonely with no friends in a new country. Still, I don’t regret moving, because I get to be with the love of my life.

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Frustrating things

So, the boyfriend and I play a game together with other people (World of Warcraft). In fact that’s how we originally met. Now, the issue here is that we haven’t actually told anyone of the people that we play with that we’re a couple, because it just never really seemed relevant, and the boyfriend is a very private person. I’ve told one of the other girls in the guild, since we like to have little gossip sessions now and then, but other than her, I don’t think anyone knows (except possibly her boyfriend who also plays with us).

Now, I couldn’t care less if people know that we’re dating or not. I don’t feel any particular need to shout it from the rooftops or anything.

However.

When I’m visiting the boyfriend, like now, and we’re playing (raiding) with those other people and use voice communication, it drives me absolutely crazy that I can’t talk to him. Because they might hear me. It makes me feel very restricted in what I can say and when, and it’s incredibly frustrating.

Because then it’s suddenly no longer a “not bothered telling them” and instead turns into this big “hush hush hidey”-thing. Not saying something is not the same as sometimes outright lying about what’s going on. I get being private, but when you start to venture into the territory of lying to keep something secret, it’s starting to become an issue.

Most of all though, it just drives me nuts that I have to be careful about when I talk, in case they might hear me. I’m a chatty person, and having to remember to stay silent is incredibly difficult and frustrating.

It might just be me though. Everyone has different views on these things, I’m sure. Maybe I just need to learn to talk less!

Update on “The Move”

I had actually planned to write this post yesterday, so that the blog wasn’t cluttered with just Throwback Thursday posts back-to-back. But then internet decided to go down for 36 hours or so… So that didn’t happen.

Anyway, I wanted to write a little update on what’s going on with my move to England. Ideally I would have moved by now, but as I’ve mentioned before we’ve run into trouble finding a place to live. I never imagined it would be so difficult to find a rental place that would allow you to bring a dog, but boy was I wrong!

So after actively looking for a rental for three months, the boyfriend got sick of it and has decided that we’re (read: he is) just going to purchase a place instead. Because if we own it, no one can say “sorry, no dogs allowed!”. Naturally, you don’t “just” purchase a place. There’s a lot of really awful places for sale, and a lot of places in neighborhoods where we simply don’t want to live. Which means finding a place to live is taking some time as well.

In the end, we do think it will be worth it though, even if it does mean my move is taking longer. We’ve had some setbacks though, where we found places we really like and they were either sold before we could even view them – or in one case, we (he) put a bid on it, but lost it. That one was probably the worst, cause we both loved that one.

I just hope we can find a place soon, because I want to get to the next part of our lives. You know, the one where we actually see each other more often than ever few months? Yeah, that one.

In the meanwhile, I’m compulsively refreshing the sales site about fifty times a day.

My view. Daily.

My view. Daily.

 

Conversation

I was chatting with the boyfriend on Skype the other night.

Me: I can’t really play Inquisition while we’re chatting on Skype.

Bf: Why not?

Me: Because I might miss some interesting conversation!

Bf: Are you being sarcastic? You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?

Me: No… But I wasn’t referring to our conversation, I meant that I won’t hear the characters speaking in Inquisition…

I’m pretty sure he facepalmed at this point.

Just a week…

It’s really stupid. Yesterday it was a week since I got back home from England, but it feels like months already. For every time that I meet the boyfriend, the worse it gets when we’re apart. I’ve always been a very independent person. Never had an issue with being alone. A lot of my hobbies are things that I can do (and should do) by myself, such as writing and reading.

But I miss him. I miss just having him around. Even if I’m reading, it’s just nice to know he’s there for when I do want to hang out. Which I guess is a positive thing. I’ve always been worried that I’d get sick of whoever I was with and would want them gone. I’m glad that we’re both able to do our own thing, while still being in the same room. Alone, but apart. If that makes sense.

Naturally, us meeting every few months can’t really be compared to living together. But I think we’ll be fine. The longest we’ve spent together is three weeks. But that was three weeks pretty much 24/7, which is more than we would when living together – since then you’re at work etc. So, yeah. While it’s definitely different – I do think we can do it. And I’m very much looking forward to it.

I really just want it to happen now. I’m sick of waiting. We’ve been chatting online via text/Skype calls for nearly seven years. We’ve been dating for 3½. I think it’s enough time spent apart.

Just a week… Why does it feel like at least a month?

 

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Couldn’t wait…

The boyfriend and I contemplated waiting with the next visit until the end of May for his birthday, but as it turns out we couldn’t wait. So I’m going over for a week in March. Hooray!

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If the boyfriend can get some time off work we may check out some flats for renting, to get an idea of what’s out there – and what I like/don’t like. Since most likely he will have to be the one finding us a place – what with me living in another country and all.

Only two weeks to go until I get to see him again. Makes me happy!

Aww

The boyfriend’s mother sent me a photo on Facebook with this adorable clock that she’d bought for us. It’s perfect for me, since I love pretty much anything with owls on it. It’s also the first new thing that the boyfriend and I got for our joint home. Still some time before we actually have a home, but it’s a start!

Obviously we’re both bringing a whole bunch of stuff with us into the home. But this clock feels special since it’s the first new thing that’s not been in either of our homes previously. It’s “ours” instead of something I bring or he brings.

Call me sentimental, but it makes me go “aaww”. Not to mention how sweet it was of her to think of us (ie. me) when seeing an owl clock!

Too cute!

Too cute!

So much to do!

Next summer I will be moving to England, to be with the boyfriend. The move is going to cost a small fortune, so I’ve given notice to my landlord, and will be moving out of my apartment soon. I need to save money, and it’s pretty much the only thing where I can cut down. So I will be renting a room from family until it’s time to move. It will save me something like 200 bucks a month, which will be very helpful.

However, that means that there’s a lot of work that needs to be done now, rather than next summer. My apartment obviously won’t fit into one room, so the boyfriend and I will have to go through all my furniture and decide what comes along to England and what I should sell. Then I have to start packing for the move.

One set of stuff that will be put in storage until the move (since I want to bring it to England, but can’t have it in my rented room). And one set of things that I will move into the room. (So basically, my desk, a chest of drawers, my bed and clothes).

The move is planned for the end of October, so I have to get everything done before then. There’s so much, I don’t really know where to start. I have to decide what to sell, store, throw, use in the room. And I will have to sell/throw out a lot. It’s just too expensive to move it to England.

That means a lot of my books will have to be thrown out. Which makes me very sad. I love my books! But they would take up like 10 moving boxes (at least) on their own, and cost a fortune to move. Instead of spending that money on the extra space/weight when moving – I can probably buy new ones. But it’s not the same.

I will still bring some books. I won’t throw out my favourite authors, or the really nice books or boxed sets that I have. But that’s still 300+ books probably that will have to go. My poor books!

Then I have to figure out how to travel with the pets. Saga may have to stay in Sweden. I’m not sure she could make the move from countryside to city, and as much as I’d miss her – I want what’s best for her. Bailey, I think, would be happiest coming with me – since I’ve had him since he was a puppy. Bringing him on a flight though is 1) very expensive and 2) not something that sounds very nice for the dog.

I’m hoping that my mom and her partner may be willing to take a road trip, to bring me and Bailey to England. That would be much more relaxed than him having to fly in the bottom of an airplane I think.

So… I guess, step one is to decide which things I’m keeping etc. And step two will be getting some moving boxes so I can start packing.

Panic mode incoming…

Happy “Anniversary”

Today it’s three years since the boyfriend and I met for the first time. I’m saying “anniversary” though, since we haven’t officially been a couple all that time, even if we were for all intents and purposes. The distance between us made us both wary though, and so we didn’t put a label on it until more recently.

As it currently stands, we’re both waiting for me to be able to move to the UK to be with him. The plan is for that to happen somewhere around next summer. There’s a lot that needs to be sorted before then, so it’s probably a good thing that we have plenty of time still!

Living in different countries is not something I recommend. It gets frustrating very fast.

Anyway, today still marks three years – and I look forward to many more.

Someone…

… grew a beard when I wasn’t around!

I forgot to say earlier that the boyfriend grew himself a beard when I wasn’t looking. The advantage of living in separate countries I guess – you can get away with a lot more without the other person noticing! His mom gave it away before I went to visit though, so it wasn’t a complete surprise when I came over. It definitely took some getting used to though. I don’t mind the beard, but it’s definitely taking me some time to get used to it being around. Also, he kind of looks like a Norwegian lumberjack, don’t you think?

Someone’s getting a red flannel shirt for Christmas…

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